how can i build self confidence

Treat Yourself Absolutely Fabulously! Spa Review and Giveaway!

Enter to WIN a Massage! See details on how to enter below!
Back in January 2013, I had the pleasure of traveling to Vancouver on my Be That Girl™ book tour. I was fortunate enough to have my amazing cousin, Julie, accompany me on the trip. She celebrated a big birthday while we were there, so we took the opportunity to book ourselves a spa day! Any excuse to book a day at the spa is a good one!

We booked into a spa called Absolutely Fabulous Urban Spa., conveniently located directly across from the hotel we stayed at, 910Beach.

We arrived early afternoon and were warmly welcomed at the door, and promptly escorted into the quiet room to fill out our client forms.

The dark wood elements, warm Egyptian rugs and furnishings, soft lighting, calming music and cozy chairs really set the mood for our spa day getaway. There was water and chocolates on the table, and we were offered hot ginger tea. I loved that tea…it was spicy, sweet and soothing.

We booked in for the Fabulous Escape, which included a 60 minute Relaxation Massage, Express Manicure and the Absolutely Fabulous Pedicure ($165, 2.5 hours) Just to make it even more delectable, we each added on a facial ($100).

I changed into my robe in the elegant massage room (complete with fireplace) while Julie got going with her facial. I opted for a Deep Tissue Massage with Fuku. It was an extra charge for this option over the Relaxation Massage included in the package, but it was totally worth it. If I lived in Vancouver, Fuku and I would be seeing each other on a regular basis. Her personalized, sensitive touch and incredible massage techniques not only relaxed me, but healed me and straightened me out! Julie also enjoyed her massage with Fuku, but did comment that she could hear the traffic quite loudly in the room.

Our estheticians...Barbara and Fuku — Our estheticians…Barabara and Fuku

The facial was next for me (Julie moved on to her massage), and I was introduced to Barbara, my Esthetician. The facial room was similarly calming and had white billowing curtains on the ceiling that made me feel like I was in a far away land of sand and sun. Barbara’s facial was so relaxing, it almost made the exfoliation portion fun (almost…and I know that deep cleaning is so important for vibrant skin). I really enjoyed the smell of the products they used. Barbara made sure to educate me on my skin type and help me select the right foods going forward to make my skin even more radiant.

Onto the pedicure. I was escorted to a large reclining, leather chair for my pedicure. The chair was very comfortable. Julie had her pedicure at the same time, but was seated in a reclining bed…no buzzy, vibrating chairs here. My room was packed with lots of great magazines, but of course I was writing away in my journal! The foot bath was a large steel bowl filled with warm water, and when I put my feet in I was pleasantly surprised to feel several small rocks in the bottom of my bath. It felt very natural and calming to my feet. The attention paid to my feet was lovely. This was not a traditional scrub and rub pedicure.

They have a no cell phone policy at the spa, and for good reason. At one point during my pedi, I answered my phone and was politely reminded of the policy…there was a massage in session. A spa is supposed to be a getaway from your life for a few hours!

The finale of our spa day was the manicure. Again, there were smooth rocks in our hand soaking bowls, a touch that I thought was very appealing. By this time, Julie and I were ravenous! We hadn’t eaten in hours. The spa staff took care of us by serving us handfuls of chocolate and sparkling pink wine! What a way to top off an incredible day at the spa. Next time, Julie and I agreed that we needed to bring food, or order something. Hours in the spa can really work up an appetite.

We left the spa feeling a little tipsy and a lot more relaxed and pampered. We were thankful that my niece Brooke had prepared a snack plate for us to chow down on as soon as we returned to the hotel.

The prices were very reasonable for the level of service we received. The warm and friendly staff and the cozy, elegant atmosphere at Absolutely Fabulous Urban Spa make this a place I’d go back to again.

Located in downtown Vancouver, BC right by the Granville Island Ferry terminal, this spa is fantastic for visitors and locals.

Check out Absolutely Fabulous Urban Spa at www.myspa.ca for more information.

My Vote: [rating=4]

Julie’s Vote: [rating=4]

From One Spa-Worthy Girl to Another…Until next time!

Tina
Here’s your chance to WIN a 45 Min Massage! To be entered, follow these easy steps:
1. Like Be That Girl on Facebook.
2. Like Absolutely Fabulous Spa on Facebook.
3. Leave a comment below, or on facebook, stating whether you have ever had a professional massage.
Contest closes on May 28, 2013. Good Luck, and may the spa be with you!

Time to Shoelerize with this Awesome Giveaway!

Last year at the Women’s Show in Toronto, I was introduced to something that changed my accessorizing life…Shoelery! Just as the name suggests, Shoelery IS jewelery for my shoes!

There were so many amazing pieces of jewelry for my shoes that I had a hard time choosing, so I ended up filling up a box full of these beauties!

The thing I love most about shoelery is that you can change your look simply by adding a different piece of shoelery! My favorite pieces so far have been the boot jewelry and the zip on fur. Shoelery can add sparkle, pizzazz and excitement to your favorite, most comfortable pairs of shoes. Another bonus is the price…These gorgeous pieces are affordable priced, so you can use your budget to buy good shoes, and then stock up on Shoelery to make it look like you have millions of pairs…sneaky and awesome!

Your husband will think you’ve really gone off the deep end with shoe buying, but you can reassure him that you are actually saving money and buying less shoes! (Whatever it takes, ladies!).

I travel a lot, and I have to look great all the time, especially when I am on TV! Trying to pack millions of pairs of shoes just doesn’t work, especially with the new weight and bag restrictions at the airport. Having Shoelery can make it feel like you have 8 pairs of shoes with you when you only really packed 2. Freedom of choice ladies, even when you travel!

Tina’s Vote for Shoelery[rating=5]

Enter to WIN your copy of Be That Girl PLUS a $40 or $100 Giftcard from Shoelery!
See below for entry details.

To Enter the Giveaway:
1. “Like” Be That Girl on Facebook.
2. “Like” Shoelery on Facebook.
3. Leave a comment telling us how many pairs of shoes you need to “Shoelerize“!
Contest runs from March 27 to April 18, 2013!

Can’t wait to start SHOELERIZING? Here is an Exclusive Offer from Be That Girl…Happy Shopping!

10% off SHOELERY by Erica Giuliani – jewelery for your shoes!
Shoelerybyeg.com
Enter offer code BETHATGIRL2013 at checkout to receive
discount.

Can Anyone Cook Dinner? I put Sandi Richard’s New Cookbook to the Test.

I have been using Sandi Richard’s line of Meal Planning Cookbooks for over 10 years now. I am a raving fan! I buy every one of her books because they have taught me how to meal plan, her meals are easy, delicious, and healthy and even my husband can follow the recipes!

Her newest cookbook is entitled Anyone Can Cook Dinner
I decided to put Sandi’s book title promise to the test in my own home with my 8 year old daughter Trinity.

We used Sandi’s printable grocery list to purchase all of the items for our week of dinners. It is so nice to know that you have everything on hand for 5 healthy meals!

I let Trinity choose what she wanted to make out of the 5 meals.

I will admit, I was nervous. Was my daughter ready to cook? When is the right time to start showing your kids how to cook? It was time to see what she could do.

Trinity’s dinner choice…Tuna Tetrazzini with Corn & Peas.

Trinity read over the recipe. First thing Sandi tells you to do is take out all of the tools you will need, which are nicely detailed under the equipment list. Trinity did as she was instructed and pulled everything out.

Next, Trinity gathered up all of the ingredients as instructed and laid them out on the counter.

She followed the easy step by step instructions to prepare one of her first real meals by herself.

I was in the kitchen the entire time just for support and to answer any questions. I was pleasantly surprised!

Trinity excelled at cooking! She was so excited to embark on this cooking adventure, and I could tell how proud she was of herself. Just that fact that I was turning over the kitchen to her made her smile!

While the dinner was in the oven, Trinity set the table and even prepared a menu for our family to show what we were having.

It was amazing to watch my little girl succeed in the kitchen. As parents, I think we forget that it is our job to teach our kids how to be INDEPENDENT of us. An essential skill that we all need is cooking! It is amazing to see what skills children can learn in the kitchen…math, preparedness, cleanliness, healthiness…the list goes on!

It is time for us to stop doing everything ourselves, and let our children LEARN!

Sandi Richard has done it again! She is not only helping families get back to eating together, she is helping families learn to cook together! Give yourself permission to ask for help in the kitchen and you’ll create an amazing change in your family dynamics. Life is all about teamwork. Start introducing your children to the kitchen and cooking as early as you can. There is always something you can get your children doing…pulling out equipment, ingredients, washing and cutting vegetables, or just watching you and chatting with you about each others day.

Unlock the kitchen and let your children and your husbands in! Make it easy for them to prepare dinner by having everything on hand to prepare a meal, along with an easy to follow, no fail recipe. Plan meals as a family, and dinner will be a lot more fun. Reduce your stress by knowing what you are having for dinner tomorrow, and prepare for tomorrow’s dinner before you go to bed. It is not hard, especially when you use one of Sandi’s cookbooks. I truly believe ANYONE CAN COOK DINNER, if they are given the proper tools.

Thanks Sandi. Getting back to basics is easier than I thought it would be. With 3 daughters, I’m hoping to be sipping my wine while I watch my dinner being prepared. They cook, they clean! Win-win!

Practice Win-Win when dealing with your kids.

Practice Win-Win when dealing with your kids.

Moms are always telling their children what to do and how to do it. Mothers know best! In a perfect world, our children would just listen intently to every word of wisdom that we give them, and they would follow every direction we gave them. If they listened to us, we could prevent their heartaches and headaches.

We tell our children what to do, and what not to do, because we, as adults have had more experiences, and we have learned what happens when we do, or do not do, certain things. We, as adults, understand what consequences are. Yet we would like to shelter our own children from experiencing consequences. Why should they have to go through what we went through? We can prevent it! We can shelter them, shield them and protect them by telling them what they should do.

As much as we would like to keep our children in a bubble of perfectness, we as Mom’s need to start thinking about helping our children progress and learn independence through other means.

Our job as parents is to help our children learn to be independent of us…how to thrive on their own (not really what we moms had in mind… won’t they always need us?). By focusing on making their choices for them (telling them what to do), we end up protecting them. This soothes our motherly souls, but can cause tension between parents and children and is not a great long term solution.

Children need to learn the value of a consequence. “If I do this, then this will happen”. Instead of focusing on telling your kids what to do, focus on helping them learn about results.

Let’s look at an example. It is a freezing cold day, and you need to get your 5 year old to kindergarten on time, and you are already running a bit behind schedule already. Your 5 year old is amazing, sweet, and stubborn, and refuses to put their jacket on. You spend 5 minutes explaining to your child how cold it is outside and that they will surely freeze to death if they do not put their jacket on. Your child spends that 5 minutes screaming “no” to you. In the end, you wrestle your child into that jacket and there are a lot of tears and the stress level is high. But you have won! Your sweet angel has that jacket on, and you know that they are protected and warm. Your child is sobbing and upset that you would not listen to them! But you know what is best for them…your child needs to listen to you.

Let’s look at another way of handling this. Instead of arguing with your child, allow them to experience a consequence. You have told your child once calmly that it is very cold outside and that they need to put their jacket on (be sure you make eye contact with them, get down to their level to ensure that they really hear you…their brains process things quickly and they may have a hard time focusing). When they refuse to put their jacket on, simply say “okay, that is your decision not to put your jacket on”. Then proceed to leave as usual. It won’t take long until they complain about how cold they are. In this situation, you will have brought their jacket with you, and when they complain about the cold, you will put it on them, and say something like “thank goodness for nice, warm jackets! Next time, let’s try putting your jacket on before you get too cold.”

In the second example, both Mom and child are less frustrated. Of course, Mom is still worried about her child, but she would never allow her child to be in a situation that was unsafe. Mom knew that this would be a good learning experience for her child. The child now knows that if they go outside without a jacket, they will be very cold, therefore they need to put their jacket on before.

Your child may also learn over time that what you are telling them is actually true. (“My mom did say that it was going to be freezing cold without my jacket, and it was. Perhaps I should listen to my mom next time!”). No one wants to be told what to do. It can be hard to rationalize with a 2 year old (or a 5 year old, or a 13 year old, or a 40 year old!)

Everyone learns more deeply when they have an opportunity to experience it themselves.

Reduce your own stress, and theirs, by breaking down the walls of protection. Let them make choices, and allow them to deal with the consequences of those choices and actions, and you will immediately create a more positive and respectful relationship.

You are an amazing Mom! Be sure to reward yourself today… Buy yourself some flowers, or give yourself 20 minutes of free time for a bath, shower, or to read a good book. You deserve to feel like a queen for 20 minutes every day. Go GIRL!

Tina O’Connor, BsC Psych.
President & CEO
www.bethatgirlnow.com
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How can I build Confidence? Treat Yourself.

You work hard. You need to take the time to relax and unwind. Treating yourself to this time will help you create your amazing future even faster!

It is easy to just go, go, go, and then just keep going! If you’re not doing, you’re not achieving, right? Wrong. You have got to take a breather once in a while and get your strength back, and keep your focus on track. Today, take a 20 minute break from “doing”, and focus on “thinking”.

Here are a few ways that you can restore yourself and regain your mental focus.

Take a long bath or a shower, by yourself.
Lock yourself in your bedroom and just sit on the bed quietly. Bring your journal, just in case.
Do yoga.
Do a small meditation and focus only on your breathing. Concentrate on visualize what you want for yourself.
Go out to the garden, or in your yard, and sit for 20 minutes without doing any work. Just enjoy what you have created.
Sit on your porch and do nothing but enjoy everything around you. You may also choose to sit on your couch if you live in Calgary, and it is still freezing in May!
Get up 20 minutes earlier than normal and just sit and have a coffee or tea before anyone else gets up. Enjoy the quiet and the lack of doing. Look out your windows and notice what is happening around you. You may just see a sunrise, some wildlife, or another thing that makes you wonder about your neighbor.

Start treating yourself to 20 minutes of “no do” time every week. Remind yourself that taking this 20 minutes is a huge part of creating your success. You will connect with yourself in ways that you have forgotten, and you will begin creating your future faster. Find true happiness in treating yourself each week. Make it important and do not justify it to anyone. If you are going to pick one thing to do to change your life, this has to be it. Find 20 minutes each week and start expanding yourself. Experience the joy of being with you, for you. Namaste.

Let Go.

Throughout our lives, we take things on because we think that these things will fulfill us. We may end up spending our time doing things we don’t really want to do because we feel obliged. We may be hanging onto certain objects because we feel obliged, or emotional about them. I would encourage you today to think about how you fill your time, and how you fill the spaces you live in. Choose to let go of something today that is just no longer fitting in your life, whether it is a thing, or an activity. Releasing yourself from the emotional ties that you have to certain things in your life is an incredibly freeing experience, and one that will open you up to the possibility that less is always more. Give yourself more by letting go. Freedom is yours for the taking.

Success Laws: Know yourself.

Knowing what you want, and when you want it is the key to your success.

What I want is exemplified by a few simple lyrics in a Queen song…

“I want it all, I want it all,I want it all, and I want it now!”

Funny, but absolutely true. Wanting it all NOW creates an interesting dynamic in my life. The frustration and stress of waiting for the things I want forces me to have more patience, which is something I need to consciously work on everyday. Wanting it all now is also extremely motivating and it inspires me to take actions everyday towards getting what I want. The results are incredible, and usually worth the wait.

Today, I would encourage you to really think about what you want, and when you want it. Realize that you deserve to get everything you want and it is totally in your control to get it all. You may not have full control over when you get it, but the more effort you put in, the quicker it will happen. So, what are you prepared to do to fulfill your dreams in a timely fashion? What are you prepared to give up right now to secure your dreams? Just start doing it and you will amaze yourself in the near future. Action = Results. Go for it! Namaste.

Slow it down.

Today’s Inspiration is from a classic Eagles song…

“Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind!”

Make sure you slow things down a little and enjoy the things that are happening, and the things that you have, right now. Plan for the future, and work towards your dreams but realize that NOW is what you have, and NOW is the perfect time to enjoy what you have. Don’t lose your mind in the fast lane. Breathe, Relax, appreciate, enjoy, and have a little fun. Namaste.

Acceptance.

As I child, I distinctly remember the day that I realized that my parents were just real people, and not the perfect constructs that, up until that point, I had imagined in my mind.

We all reach a point in our lives where we realize that we are a lot like our parents, and we figure out that being like our parents isn’t so bad…in fact, it can be amazing!

You are who you are because of the experiences you have had to date, and it is up to you to love yourself right now, and create what you need for yourself going forward. Accept yourself for who you are and be thankful for the experiences that you have been given, but don’t ever limit yourself based on that. You are incredible and you can do anything.

Be thankful to your parents for everything they have given you, including all the great learning experiences. Without them, you would not be you.

Sending lots of love to my Mom and Dad. They are responsible for getting me here.

The Best Books on Self Help went Global!

The Best Books on Self Help, Be That Girl, went Global!

Yesterday, I appeared as a guest on the Morning Show at Global TV Calgary to talk about my book, Be That Girl. Check it out!

Today is my daughter Trinity’s 8th Birthday. Everyone always talks about how quickly time passes, especially when you have children. But when I look back on everything that has happened in 8 years, it is apparent that while time may appear to pass quickly in our minds, it is really relative and it passes at the same rate no matter how busy you are. Time is all a matter of perspective. Though we cannot make more time, we can consciously choose to enjoy all of the time that we do have. So, instead of always thinking that time passes too quickly, I am going to keep thinking about how wonderful it is to have so much time in this life. Life is busy, but you can always make time for the things that are important to you. What are you choosing to spend your time on? You are in control of how you spend your time, so make changes if necessary, or just start enjoying all of the little moments that happen amidst the hectic hours in every day. Those are the things that will stick with you, and that you will look back on fondly. Spend some time doing something fun or relaxing today. Namaste.